But, I'm already sick of the rhetoric surrounding football talk. Sometimes, I am known to ignore football discussions and shun watching games with people because it's impossible to find football fans who can talk about football without parroting ESPN's drivel or giving me a recap from US magazine. My wife, who only began watching after we got married, is better conversation during a game than most of the so-called football fans out there.
Are your friends fans or fakers? Here are some conversation examples that you can use to tell if your friends are football fans or simply tabloid junkies in disguise.
Football Fan: Hey, did you see Miles Austin's kickoff return in our first game? The Cowboys need to work that kind of speed into the the main part of the game!
Tabloid Junkie: Jerry Jones installed his screen too low in the new stadium! Well, it's not really too low, it's regulation, but it's funny. Sort of. Let's talk about it some more. Who won the game? I don't remember, but did you see the clip on SportsCenter when the kickoff hit the TV screen!
Football Fan: I wonder if our teams' 4-3 defense can cover a 5 wide out offense with a quick snap?
Tabloid Junkie: Tom Brady is cute, so he could probably do that thing you just said.
"I've heard they lose when they wear the white pants. No, I don't know anything about defensive formations. I'm just sayin'..."However, this is an old problem that I have been annoyed with for many years. Let's go back in time...
One Year Ago
Football Fan: Tony Romo is a good player who is always focused even when he is having a bad day.
Tabloid Junkie: I head on ESPN that he plays worse when his girlfriend is in town. That's right, I believe in curses and voodoo. Mysticism is way more important than athleticism in this sport. Can I read your palm?
Two Years ago
Football Fan: The New Orleans Saints got their head coach from the Dallas Cowboys staff, and his knowledge of the team helped them to beat the Cowboys and showed other teams how to do the same.
Tabloid Junkie: The Saints played at the Superdome before the hurricane. I'm pretty sure that George Bush caused the hurricane because he's a racist. I love football!
People. Go back to your witch hunts, animal sacrifices, and tabloid articles about Jennifer Aniston. The rest of us have games to watch.
2 comments:
Actually, Cowboys run a 3-4, but vs. 5 wide they would go nickle or dime package (take out the LBs for extra DBs)
Hmm, I meant to say 3-4. I actually knew that. It doesn't mean that I can tell one from another when they are on the field. I'm still working on understanding defenses.
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