But They Said it was Made by a Schoolteacher...

A moron walks into a pharmacy. The following conversation ensues:

Moron: Do you have any natural non-'sciency' things that can help me overcome my own personal feelings of inadequacy...er, I mean, make me healthier?

Pharmacist: No, this is a pharmacy, try the witch doctor, uh, I mean, yes, yes, we have this thing called Airborne. It boosts your immune system and cures the common cold.

Moron: Hmm, I don't know, it sounds a little technical, got any of those pads that pull toxins out of your feet?

Pharmacist (hitting rock bottom): Listen, this was made by a schoolteacher!

Moron: I'll take eight!

I was told about Airborne on a plane. Someone said that by taking it you would become invincible to the common cold and would be immune to other germs while flying on a plane. (A plane that was cleaned and sanitized a few hours before I boarded, unlike my office or my car.)

Oh, yeah, and it was made by a schoolteacher. And it was on Oprah. Oh, brother, no wonder Obama is doing so well in the polls.

Um, maybe you had better teachers than I did, but I didn't have any schoolteachers that could invent things. Certainly none of them that could cure the common cold. I knew at the time that science had yet to find a way to combat the cold virus but the person I was speaking to was taken in by the narrative of the teacher and didn't think about it objectively. As it turns out, Airborne is a laughable placebo and has been taken to court over its claims to actually do anything.

The drugs I take tend to work and are made in laboratories that look like this:


However, Americans seem to prefer medicine made by someone who looks like this: