Three Videos that Always Make Me Laugh (a.k.a. I'm too busy to write)

This is the busiest time of the year, for me.  In fact, I can't remember a Fall semester that was ever as frantic as this one has been.  As such, I've got nothing for you.  But, Blogging 101 states that you should keep some regularity to your publishing.  Of course, that doesn't matter to me, because I don't make any money and no one actually reads this.  However, I still feel better when I post, so here's three videos that always make me laugh:

In this clip from the TV show Mystery Science Theater 3000, Mike Nelson makes jokes about Noh theater.  It's an old joke, but it gets me every time:



Here's an alternate look at Star Wars with Darth Vader's voice replaced with lines from other James Earl Jones films.  I laugh out loud each time:




And here's a classic scene from Taxi wherein Jim (played by the wonderful Christopher Lloyd) takes a driving test.  Wait for it.

Should the Church Replace Government Welfare?

It's an argument I hear often: "We shouldn't pay tax money to help the needy - the church should be doing that!"

The notion, here, is that the church ought to take in the homeless, feed the hungry, and help the sick who can't afford treatment.  It's a fine idea, but one that has flaws; namely, why isn't it happening, already?

If we want the church to take over this function, there's nothing stopping us.  In fact, if every homeless person was allowed to stay in a local church, then we would have succeeded in taking that responsibility from the government.  Problem solved.

But that's not what's happening.  Instead, I commonly hear argument that demand the church take over these functions, but only after they have been relinquished by the government.  They want the government to hand over this responsibility to the church, even though "the church" doesn't have centralized leadership of any sort.  (Particularly here in the U.S., where I hear this sort of thing argued.)

You know...this is a boring blog entry and I'm surprised you're still reading.  I'm boring myself as I type it.  No wonder no one reads my website.  I've got to find some better topics.  Come back, next week, and I'll try to have something better.  Sheesh.

She just read my blog.

Friday Links - I Finally Join Twitter, Discover What a Doctorate Is, and Check Out the Rapture Index

A Professor I know posted a link titled What Exactly is a Doctorate.  It's a very short read that simply diagrams what all of the grad students in the world are doing and why it matters.

Are you aware of the Rapture Index?  George Duncan over at End Times Tavern (a light-hearted news site) has made tongue-in-cheek references to the Rapture Index (a heavy handed fear-mongering site) a few times.  It's like a stock index, but it charts every possible event that relates to the End Times (if you subscribe to their very narrow interpretation of things).  Sounds useless, but it's really entertaining to people like me.  Did you know that false prophet sightings are at a danger level of 3 while unemployment is at level 5?  Occultic practices are on the rise while demon worship is in decline, and the current overall Rapture Index is 171 - just shy of the all time high of 174.  They call it the "The prophetic speedometer of end-time activity," which sounds like a joke - but don't laugh, because the guys at RaptureReady.com are very serious.

And, finally, I'm on Twitter.  I'm not a fan of it, but you can follow me at Twitter.com/ThinkThroughIt.  (Am I the only one shocked that a phrase like "Think Through It" has not been taken by a Twitter user?  I assumed I would end up with something more obscure.  Does this confirm my prejudice against Twitter users that says they aren't into deep conversations, hence the miserly word limit?  I digress.)  Thanks to TwitterFeed I can send my blog entries there (and to Facebook) without ever looking at it, and I like that.  I don't expect to ever log into it again or check my messages, so it's really just a feed for my blog.  But, if Twitter is your thing, there it is.


Enjoy your weekend.

Switchfoot vs. The Police (Not the Band...)

Jon Foreman, lead singer of Switchfoot, is not the type to get in trouble with the law, but a recent run-in with the police has really affected him.

In the Huffington Post, Foreman tells us how embarrassed he is about what happened.  After a show He was playing some acoustic music in the parking lot when a police officer came by and made everyone leave.  Foreman shook the officer's hand and went on his way, so as far as run-ins with the cops go, this was pretty tame.  It turns out that the police needed to clear the lot before they left, so it's reasonable ask people to move on.

You can find a few YouTube videos of the whole thing going down.  The officer breaks it up pretty loudly, but no one is pushed around or anything.  I agree with Jon Foreman's notion that a communication breakdown took place, because he and the officer are clearly not on the same page about what's going on.  Even so, when he is asked to stop playing he is respectful to the officer and he manages not to lose his temper at all. 

But Foreman is still embarrassed.  He's concerned that he didn't handle the situation well and seems to feel really flustered about it.  (He goes on to say some really nice things about police officers, as well)  Of course, he also doesn't understand why he was being yelled at.  He ends the post with an apology:

Mr. Fisher, if in any way you felt threatened or disrespected by my actions the other night, please allow me to apologize. That was not my intention. I was simply hoping to play a few songs out in the parking lot for some folks who wanted to listen. I'm hoping to close this awkward incident the best way I can. I would love to find out how to do this sort of thing better for the next time we pass through. We all need each other.

Foreman is a classy guy.  Some of us met him at a conference two years ago and were amazed at how nice and approachable he was, so it doesn't surprise me that he has handled this situation well.  Most people I know would have used the opportunity to criticize the police and make themselves out to be martyrs for a cause.  ("Help, help, I'm being repressed!)  Thankfully, Jon Foreman remembered that it is the meek that shall inherit the earth, and not the whiners.  That's a lesson for me to remember.

You're doing fine, Jon.

Thinking Through Immigration

I try not to talk politics too often around here, but I'd like to express some ideas about immigration that have been on my mind.  Here goes:

1 - I Think Illegal Immigration Creates Problems

I don't think it's OK to open our borders and let anyone wander in and stay wherever they want in an undocumented manner.  I'm not allowed to live off of the grid, so the same should be expected of everyone who is going to live here.  I think that's fair.  And I don't like to see immigrant families living in poverty because their employers know that they can keep them in poverty since they are not legal citizens.

2 - I Don't Have a Problem with Mexicans

I have to say that, or the racialists out there will send my blog to MSNBC as an example of racist hatred and KKK recruitment.  I don't think anyone should live here illegally, and I don't care where they're from.  Of course, we're talking about Mexicans these days because that's the only economically struggling country that borders us, but my comments have nothing to do with peoples' heritage.  I don't mind if Mexican-Americans outnumber whites in my neighborhood, and that sort of thing has nothing to do with immigration as far as I am concerned.  If a bunch of caucasian Canadians sneaked across the border listening to U2 and talking about their favorite episode of Friends on their way to the Gap would feel the same way.

3 - The 14th Amendment is a Good Thing

I'm glad that anyone born here becomes a citizen automatically.  I think that process cuts down on government paperwork and policing of hospital delivery rooms.  I'm largely in favor of people becoming U.S. citizens, because our country needs people in order to have the resources it needs to build a strong economy.  The 14th amendment means that we have fewer illegal immigrants than we would otherwise.  I don't see the problem with it.

4 - Amnesty is an Unfair and Imperfect Solution - But That's OK with Me

Again, I'm in favor of increasing the number of U.S. citizens.  Is it unfair to grant amnesty to current illegal immigrants and just let them in?  You bet, it is, because there are people doing it by the book who are going to have to wait in line behind them.  It's not a perfect solutions, but it's still the best solution I have heard.  All of those illegal immigrants would become citizens who could no longer be expected to work for low wages and they would no longer be hidden from society.

And, of course, some immigrants are really funny.  We should grant amnesty to anyone who can make SNL funny, again...

5 - A Further Solution Must be Found

This problem is happening because we stopped enforcing the law (or, we were unable to do so), and it needs a solution of some sort that will keep this problem from being a regular occurrence.  Maybe that means we build a stronger border fence, or maybe it means that we make legal immigration easier and less expensive so that people don't have to do it the wrong way.  Either way, I think something needs to change or we will have this discussion forever.

6 - Those Who Disagree With Me Should Try to Change the Law Rather than Ignore It

There are plenty who disagree with me and think that immigrants should not be obligated to have a legal status.  That's fine, we're all entitled to our opinions, but it's not a good solution is to ignore the immigration law and let anyone live here as they please.  That's not a good precedent because it means not enforcing a law that is in place.  If you think that open borders is the way to go then you should lobby the government to change the laws rather than asking the government to ignore them.

7 - Bad Arguments

I hear a lot of bad arguments about immigration.  Here are some things to avoid saying:

"We are a nation of immigrants!"

So is Mexico.  And Canada.  (With the exception of Native Americans, obviously.)  So, what?  This isn't about hating immigrants, it's about the problems caused by illegal immigration.  Let's solve those problems.  I'm all about encouraging immigrants and honoring the words on the Statue of Liberty.

"Illegal immigrants are taking our jobs and some of them are criminals that escaped from Mexican jails!  Let's repeal the 14th amendment!"

That's like saying you want to solve the drunk driving problem by letting the air out of everyone's car tires.  Legal citizens aren't causing the problems so repealing the 14th amendment won't fix any problems related to illegal immigration.  And I'm well aware that people come here just to have babies who will be legal citizens - I might do the same thing with my family in that situation.

"Didn't This Land Once Belong to Mexico?"

Yes, it did.  But I fail to see what this means in relation to immigration.  France owned parts of Texas in the past, but we don't let undocumented strangers wander around our neighborhoods just because they are carrying breadsticks and watching mimes.

"I think you should have more kids to deal with this problem."

I hope that sounds ridiculous to most of you, because I was horrified to find out that some people want to combat immigration by having more children.  This bizarre genealogical warfare is not stemming the tide of illegal immigrants into border towns, nor is it helping those immigrants to live a good life.  It's just a sick way of ensuring that the kids in your neighborhood don't look like Mexicans - and that's unacceptable.

"If we build a wall, people will just come in on boats!"

Duh.  But if you lived in a border town and saw new strangers in your neighborhood every week who outran the Mexican authorities to get into your town, you would appreciate a better fence.  Am I saying that all illegal immigrants from Mexico are criminals?  No, I'm not (but people who failed logic will assume that and try to burn me).  But border towns face an unfair burden in this dilemma, and I can see why a stronger wall would make them feel safer.

"Those people just want a happier life.  Will you deny them that life?"

I would love to see improvements to the quality of life in Mexico.  I don't mind encouraging legal immigration to help, and I don't mind encouraging a simpler immigration process if that's what we need to do (bear in mind, however, that the U.S. does have a friendly immigration process).  But I do grow weary of hearing people criticize the U.S. for building walls and enforcing immigration laws because of the problems that are faced by people in Mexico - I believe that those people are attacking the wrong problem.  If Mexico is such a bad place that people are willing to take great risks to leave it, then the problem is in Mexico and the international community should work to encourage improvements in Mexico rather than calling "shame" on the U.S.

(Of course, depending on who you ask, there are no problems in Mexico.  According to some, it's a fantastic place that is better than the United States in every way.  According to others, it's a terribly impoverished place and it's better to work for $1/hour in the U.S. then to stay there.  I've never been, so I really don't know, but there must be some reason that people are flooding into border states.)

So, there you have it.  I'm sure I'll regret saying this, but let me know what you think.

Friday Links: Ikea Ideas and Gay Rights Confusion

Instapundit had a link earlier this week to a blog called Ikea Hacker where people find new ways to put together Ikea stuff.  Sometimes they rearrange the parts, and sometimes they put two different pieces of furniture together to make something new.  For example, there's a cool hamster playground made from some desktop items (including an exercise wheel made from a lazy Susan) and a treadmill desk.  I love Ikea (I know, everyone tells me I'm not supposed to say that) and I'll be looking for an Ikea hack next time I go.  The site has some really good ideas.

   Pictured - A tiki torch that has been built from an Ikea oil and vinegar set.

Meanwhile, in Proposition 8 news, reader Joshua sent me this comic:

(Original is here.)  This is a good reminder that there's more to politics than Republicans vs. Democrats, and that you can't assume that someone's voting record tells you everything about them. 

Of course, not everyone would agree that the judge in this case was a Libertarian.  The Gay Patriot, for example, doesn't completely approve of this exercise of judicial power because it doesn't use the constitution enough, but simply pushes the ideology of the judge into our lives. 

But you're probably more surprised to find out that there are homosexuals who are law savvy that don't care for the recent proposition 8 ruling.  Most people don't realize that this judge's decision was not unanimously popular with gay rights supporters who are of a more Libertarian mindset because of the precedent it sets for putting the judge's feelings above other parts of the lawmaking process.  Rather than dancing in the streets at the downfall of proposition 8, they have been concerned about the role that the federal government is taking in our lives.  (If you're still the type of person who jumps to conclusions about someone based on their politics, you should know that Glenn Beck things gay marriage is just fine, even though President Obama opposes it.)

Have a good weekend.

3 Things You Never Say to a Medievalist

1 - "Do you, like, dress up in costumes and stuff?"


No. No. No.

When someone tells you that they on their way to a convention to study King Arthur or Viking longships, don't ask them if it's a dorky cosplay convention.  Preparing for a convention involves translating dead languages and comprehending obscure theologies - dress-up games are for kids.

Comparison -  Asking a medical student if he's studying anatomy to get better at playing Operation.

 "So, doctor, you must be pretty good at removing the funny bone."  "Yeah, but the bread basket was my major."

2 - "Do you study that stuff from 'The DaVinci Code?'"

We'll do no such thing.  Dan Brown's books are ridiculous - and they are made even more ridiculous by his repeated claim that they are historically accurate.  They aren't.  And no medievalist on their first day of class believes any single thing presented in that book because every word of it is completely untrue.

Comparison - Asking your ethics professor is Snakes and Ladders is going to be on the final exam.

 Actually, this game will teach you more than Dan Brown's books, so does Candy Land and slapping yourself in the face with a spoon..

3 - "What are you going to do with your degree?"


This is the worst question.  For us medievalists, it's simply a passion.  I would spend time getting lost in Viking legends and stories of medieval monsters for fun even if I never got paid to do it!  I do it because I love it.  And when people ask me what I'm going to do with my degree I have a hard time answering.  What are you going to do with your fishing rod?  Or your love of stamps?

Comparison - Asking someone what they are going to do with their Monopoly game pieces.

 "As flies to wanton boys are we to th' players, they bankrupt us for their sport!"

4 - Medieval studies does matter, however.

What your resident medievalist does really matters - and it's more important than a hobby even though most of us would continue our studies if we were unemployed.  Unlike many other fields of history, the middle ages is still a big question mark in many ways.  There are scores of unread documents that are just waiting for a new scholar to pick up and read (or, "tole lege," as we say).  Each generation of medievalists changes the field and helps us understand how our society became what it is, today.  Some historians have called this time in history the "proto-modern" era, because, at last, the foundations of modern life were being built.  But, for such an important time in history, it's remarkable that we are still in dark about things.   Most historical fields don't have so much left to learn, but the medievalist has entered into an exciting and changing field that is redefining what we know about our heritage at a rapid rate; which is remarkable when you realize that most areas of history, such as Civil War studies or popular WWII subjects, are so well known to us that there is little (if any) new ground to tread upon - we already know the lessons of those times.  But the medievalists are still sorting papers, digging up artifacts, and learning how to properly see the middle ages.  It's a fantastic field that needs our attention.

(Photo credit - that picture of the enormous game of Operation comes from this website about large board games that are for sale.)

Christians vs. Strippers - The Epic Showdown

Pastor Bill Dunfee noticed that a strip club had opened up in his town.  This was serious, and there was really only one course of action - shut them down with extreme prejudice.

Simple protesting being a thing for amateurs, he encouraged his congregation to film the people going inside and to report their whereabouts to their friends and family.  They've also stood outside to block traffic, and blasted people with bullhorns as they tried to go inside.  (Of course, this doesn't deter anyone who was going in there to relive stress.)

When asked about the owner of the strip club, the Pastor Dunfrees replied with words of kind sophistry:

"Tom George is a parasite, a man without judgment," Dunfee said. "The word of Jesus Christ says you cannot share territory with the devil."

I have no idea what that means.  Does he think that Mephistopheles shares a land grant with him because of that strip club?  (Mind you, the club is 7 miles away.)  It's important for us to update our ideas about cosmology and such since we are not in the middle ages any longer.  A strip club down the street doesn't make your church less holy - only your personal devotion can determine your walk with God.  Your neighbors can't affect that.  But, I digress.

The strippers put on their favorite Helen Reddy songs and decided to fight back.  Now, they protest in front of the church on Sunday mornings wearing sexy clothes and attracting potential clients to their club.  So, thanks to this church's less-than-model behavior, the church members can't go to a service without wading through a sea of strippers.  (That's probably the weirdest thing I've ever typed.)

And I don't want to be rude about this, but all of this happened because the church did not act wisely, and that church has now become a national laughing stock because of their immature actions.  Do you think anyone in the press is going to treat the church members nicely when reporting this?  Not likely.  It's an ugly situation that isn't going to get any better while the two sides demonize each other and insist on being enemies.

I'm truly sorry that everyone involved in that strip club now only knows Christians as judgmental and hateful people.  This could have been avoided.

(George Duncan over at End Times Tavern alerted me to this story.)

Friday Links - Get More Sleep

Sometimes I'm still tired after I sleep in on Saturdays.  Apparently, that's normal.  Here's why sleeping in won't make up for staying up late all week.  (via Instapundit.com)

I've decided that my generation stinks at raising kids.  Over at EndTimesTavern.com I saw a link to this article about a brawl breaking out at a kindergarten graduation which only confirms my suspicions.  Sheesh.

And, the next time someone tells you their ideas is the best thing since "sliced bread" you should show them this - sliced bread is only as new as 1928.

Have a good weekend!

Christianity and the End of Proposition 8

As you surely know by now, a federal judge has ruled Proposition 8 to be unconstitutional in California.  This ban on homosexual marriage has been struck down because the judge felt that "moral disapproval" was not enough to save the voter-passed Proposition 8.

You might be surprised to find out that I'm not very concerned about this.  Proposition 8 didn't interest me much when it was written, and it's removal today doesn't get me out of my chair.   It just doesn't mean much to me.  I'll explain.

As I've said in the past, I don't like the idea of the federal government regulating marriage.  If Uncle Sam can tell homosexuals not to get married then he can tell me not to get married with that same power.  I'm not a fan of giving the government powers it can use against me, so I don't get excited about banning gay marriage - that could come back to bite me.

Furthermore, to hit on a common talking point, I don't think gay marriages will make me feel like my marriage has been devalued.  That's already been done by high divorce rates, abusive/cheating spouses, and people who treat marriage like a form of dating that some people only get into so they can profit from the divorce.  I'd like to see the church deal with these problems from its own members before criticizing anyone outside of the church.

Finally, I don't think there will be cataclysmic reactions to this.  Since I'm not Pat Robertson I don't believe God will curse our country for this - if He cursed every country that accepted homosexuality things would have turned out very different in history for a lot of countries.  We are each expected to take care of our own personal devotion; we are judged individually by what is in our hearts and not corporately by federal laws.

This doesn't mean that I am happy about the judge's ruling, today, but I just really can't get that worked up about it. (I realize this puts me in the minority, because most of the people I know are either celebrating or plotting revenge.)

But I'll tell you something that does make me angry.  Very angry, in fact.  TheWrap.com wrote an article about this federal ruling, and the very first comment on the story was written by a hateful person who insulted gays and called them all sodomizers.  His screen name? HeDied4u.  That's right, the very first comment on this story managed to make Christians look hateful and ignorant.  Being hateful to homosexuals is something that Jesus would not do, and yet some of my fellow believers have occupied this sinister outpost.  I want to hang my head in shame because I have to be associated with that sort of thing.  This is why I can't tell someone I'm a Christian without being called a gaybasher or a hater even though I'm a very accepting person.Christians acting hateful and misrepresenting Christ is a far bigger problem than anything California's courthouse can bring.

Before we take any action on gay marriage, let's clean up our own house.  Stop hating.  I can't make it any more simple than that.  Love your neighbor as yourself.  While this is being perfected we should not look too far outside of ourselves.

3 Conversion Testimonies that You Never Hear (For Obvious Reasons)

Hearing someone explain their religious convictions can be fascinating - and I've heard it all.  I know a fellow who left his high rank in the Church of Satan (as well as his self-styled Vampiric lifestyle) to follow the Christian church, and I met a man who spent his life studying so he could Christianity only to become one, himself.  But there are a few stories that I never hear, and for good reason.  Here's three conversion stories that don't exist and - more importantly - why.


1 - The Ex-Evolution Professor

The Testimony: "I was lecturing my class on the foolishness of believing in God when one handsome student stood up and proved my every argument wrong with different quotes from the book of Genesis!  My Ph.D. in Biology was useless against his rhetoric - I joined the church choir the following Sunday.

Why you never hear it:  It's not true.  It never happened. And it's not going to happen.  No one ever became a Christian because they were publicly humiliated by a Believer.  The world of biology is laughing at the ludicrous claims made by creationists, and shoving those tired apologetic fallacies down people's throats is just going to get you laughed at.

See?  Jesus rode on a T-Rex!  Now you have to be a Christian!

2 - The Internet Victim

The Testimony:  I was on 4Chan making fun of Twilight and Justin Beiber when suddenly another anonymous user began to ask me if I was a Christian.  I told him I didn't believe in God, but then he said, "The Bible says 'the fool has said in his heart there is no God.'"  I went to the church right away and joined their softball team.

Why you never hear it:  You must be really out of touch if you think that griping at people will convert them to anything.  I know people who gripe at me because I don't like bagels, but every time they yell at me for walking past Einstein Bros. I just get more resolved not to go in (let it go, people - I'd rather eat donuts!). Arguments are not won by griping, and important decisions about religion are not made for people in this way.


3 - The Shame Cycle

The Testimony:  It was no big deal at first.  My Christian neighbors told me I was living in sin a few times and I just ignored it.  But it kept happening.  Eventually, I began to feel guilty about my long hair and my heavy metal music.  I tried to ignore it, but I felt a twinge of guilt every time they told me that Metallica makes God cry.  After a few years of their judgmental and condescending emails I realized that they were right and have only listened to Bill Gaither ever since.

Why you never hear it:  There are people who have gotten it into their heads that the best way to show someone God's love is to hate them and treat them badly.  This is supposed to help, but it doesn't resemble Jesus' ministry and it does no good.  You can't shame someone into a conversion.  It's never happened.

Unless you're a fan of the Spanish Inquisition...

Did you come to your religious convictions through someone's rude attitude?  Most convictions come through life experiences that are very personal - and you can't force that by arguments and hatred.  You must respect a person's own search for Truth while seeing to your own devotion.  Supposedly, Native Americans were once forced at gunpoint to walk through rivers in order to be "baptized," and that's what we resemble if we get pushy over our faith.  We must be better than that.

New Research on The Dead Sea Scrolls Reaches Dueling Conclusions

National Geographic recently posted an article titled, Dead Sea Scrolls Mystery Solved? Not because they had any answers, but because it's really good headline.

The mystery of the scrolls concerns the writers; we have no idea who made these scrolls.  The reigning theory is that a group of Jews known as the Essenes (famous for baptizing people before Jesus was born) manufactured them, and many efforts have been made to connect this group to John the Baptist.  Such a grand unifying theory is certainly interesting, but it's a theory that still lacks a great deal of proof.

National Geographic's article focuses on some new discoveries:

"...new research suggests many of the Dead Sea Scrolls originated elsewhere and were written by multiple Jewish groups, some fleeing the circa-A.D. 70 Roman siege that destroyed the legendary Temple in Jerusalem..."

Some of this research is based around a cup not connected to the Dead Sea Scrolls at all except for the writing on it that matches the writing on the scrolls.  It is supposed that this means the cup maker was part of the same group as the scroll writers, but all it really proves is a common style of writing.  Of course, Common Style of Writing Found Between Two Jewish Antiques isn't a very good headline.

Meanwhile, scientific research has shed some light on this issue as a group in Italy did some exciting new work on the scrolls.  Discovery.com fills us in:

The researchers bombarded the scroll fragments first with alpha-particles and X-rays from the portable XPIXE device, and then with proton beams produced by a particle accelerator.  The X-rays emitted by the samples showed that all of the fragments contained chlorine and that the ratio of chlorine to bromine within the Temple Scroll fragments was about three times higher than is normally found in sea water. The researchers concluded that the scroll may have been made from the very salty Dead Sea water.

The only problem with the article is that it seems to tell us that all of the documents were made locally - but only one of the 900+ scrolls were tested.  Still, it challenges the notion that the scrolls were collected from all over and held in Qumran merely for storage.  An interesting piece of the puzzle, to be sure, but not yet definitive.

I hate it when I have to choose between Discovery and National Geographic - it's like asking someone to choose between their parents.  And I really hate to admit how often they can resemble cheap journalists rather than researchers.  Either way, the origin of the Dead Sea Scrolls may be beyond all of us - there are some secrets that history just refuses to give up.