Three Videos that Always Make Me Laugh (a.k.a. I'm too busy to write)

This is the busiest time of the year, for me.  In fact, I can't remember a Fall semester that was ever as frantic as this one has been.  As such, I've got nothing for you.  But, Blogging 101 states that you should keep some regularity to your publishing.  Of course, that doesn't matter to me, because I don't make any money and no one actually reads this.  However, I still feel better when I post, so here's three videos that always make me laugh:

In this clip from the TV show Mystery Science Theater 3000, Mike Nelson makes jokes about Noh theater.  It's an old joke, but it gets me every time:



Here's an alternate look at Star Wars with Darth Vader's voice replaced with lines from other James Earl Jones films.  I laugh out loud each time:




And here's a classic scene from Taxi wherein Jim (played by the wonderful Christopher Lloyd) takes a driving test.  Wait for it.

Should the Church Replace Government Welfare?

It's an argument I hear often: "We shouldn't pay tax money to help the needy - the church should be doing that!"

The notion, here, is that the church ought to take in the homeless, feed the hungry, and help the sick who can't afford treatment.  It's a fine idea, but one that has flaws; namely, why isn't it happening, already?

If we want the church to take over this function, there's nothing stopping us.  In fact, if every homeless person was allowed to stay in a local church, then we would have succeeded in taking that responsibility from the government.  Problem solved.

But that's not what's happening.  Instead, I commonly hear argument that demand the church take over these functions, but only after they have been relinquished by the government.  They want the government to hand over this responsibility to the church, even though "the church" doesn't have centralized leadership of any sort.  (Particularly here in the U.S., where I hear this sort of thing argued.)

You know...this is a boring blog entry and I'm surprised you're still reading.  I'm boring myself as I type it.  No wonder no one reads my website.  I've got to find some better topics.  Come back, next week, and I'll try to have something better.  Sheesh.

She just read my blog.

5 Ways to Improve Communication with Your IT Professionals

I like my job as an A/V programmer/computer repairman/whatever person in my IT department, and, fortunately, I've left the depressing field of helpdesk support for a job that is more fun. In the process, I've learned a lot about the problems people have with their IT workers and I think these five steps will help the rest of the world live with those weird computer geeks.

1. Don't Insist On Your Own Words

I'm not trying to be a snob, but just imagine going to your doctor and insisting that he fix you "grabber." Then, he asks you if your "hand" is bothering you and you shout, "My grabber! Just fix my grabber and get on with it!"

That's how your IT guy feels when you ask him to fix your "beamer" or your "TV" and are relentless when he tries to narrow it down to something he knows. (I've heard both of those in reference to projectors and monitors, respectively.) In fact, sometimes TV repairmen are almost brought in when someone angrily insists there is a cable problem with the TV - only to discover it's a video cable going into a monitor that is faulty.

Obviously, your IT guy doesn't think you know all the terms, but working with them to get on the same page is not their way of being rude - it's how they make sure they are working on the right problem. (Trust me, they want to fix the problem and get out of there faster than you.)

"Why can't I get a tech guy get down here and adjust the center rim on my rat? I've asked three times!"

2. Rebooting - It's Not a Bad Word

Most computer problems are solved by a reboot. This is due to memory leaks and other problems with your system's processes that cause it to slow down or freeze.

Why not just "fix the problem?" Because, it's a unique problem. A unique set of perimeters caused that problem and you can't stop it or untangle the mess - if you could, it would certainly take longer than rebooting.

3. Explain the Symptoms - Not the Problem

You don't tell your doctor that you need morphine because you fell in the shower and expect him to write you a prescription (I hope). The doctor will want to analyze your symptoms and find the cause of your problem; maybe your back pain is related to your appendix or something else.

Your computer is no different. People often ask me to "change their battery" when their computer is slow, or to "upgrade their hard drive" when data is missing. Unfortunately, when these people jump to conclusions it's difficult to explain that their problem is not what they think. (And, yes, people say things like, "Don't call me back until you've changed my battery!" when I try to tell them that desktop computers don't use batteries to generate power.)

A better approach is to tell your IT helper exactly what is happening. For example, try saying something specific, like, "I am having trouble installing this program," rather than saying, "My computer doesn't allow installations." Trust me, doing this will get your computer fixed faster.

And, stop calling this a TV. Please...

4. Don't be Embarrassed - Even IT People Call Support Lines

Calling an IT professional is nothing to be ashamed of. Many communication problems occur because the pride of the caller is so great that they won't simply ask for help. The phone call will be filled with statements about their own expertise and how this must be a really complex problem if they can't figure it out. It takes a long time to work with these folks, because they don't like to be at the mercy of a lowly hourly worker.

This is unnecessary. Everyone in the IT field calls each other for their relative expertise. When fixing a computer, an expert might have to call numerous other support lines for help with various problems from people who have expertise in each specific area. Computers are difficult, and don't be ashamed about making the call. Just be simple and ask for help. (Like I do when my car is broken. Beyond turning the key to turn it on I don't really know anything. I'm pretty sure tiny men run around on a wheel somewhere under the hood.)

"Yes, I'm sure it's plugged in - I just invented it!"

5. Be Nice

Fixing computer problems is the lowest rung in the IT ladder. The helpdesk worker makes less than everyone else in the field (except for the few of them who fix high profile servers or support other high end stuff). The customers take out all of their angst on the IT worker who receives little thanks and little pay, works in a dungeon with no windows all day, and has almost no hope of promotion. Desktop support is like a prison sentence, and the most common problem is dealing with mean customers. Show some love to your IT folks - they don't receive very much.