Spritual .gifs - How to Survive Church Greeting Time (If You're an Introvert)

The service is going strong until your pastor says those horrible words: "Now, turn and shake hands with your neighbor."

Oh, no.

The church's introverts sneak out of the sanctuary very covertly.

Maybe this is a good time to get a drink of water.

No one will notice. You can just wait it out.

But what if you come back too early and those extraverts are still in there, waiting for you?
 

The horror.

What if they get too friendly?

Seriously. They don't get it.

Maybe act really tough and they'll leave you alone.

They might walk past you if you pretend you're reading.

Or if you act like you're in the middle of a religious experience.

Try to blend in with your surroundings.

Or, do what I do - learn an instrument. Band members never have to greet people. Too busy rocking out.

And now you know why the band members at your church are weird. If none of that works, just ask for high fives and wait it out. Greeting time can't last forever. Can it?

Answering Your Questions About Postmodernism

I planned on writing more about postmodernism, this week, but the questions I received from my readers were so good that I don't actually have to craft an original post. Here are your questions.

A friend of mine who holds many degrees asked the following (on Facebook):

Your narrative makes it sound as if social constructs are something we just decide to put together, but doesn't the idea of a social construct suggest something larger than us, something we are born or educated or otherwise brought into?

This is absolutely correct and I am sorry if I was unclear on this. In my example of a social construct (there is always a cat on my bed), I came to this knowledge because every time I walk into my room a cat is sitting there; it's not because I wanted it to be that way. (If I could decide my own social constructs they would go something like, "Molly always makes me coffee" or "Desmond never tries to enter the trash can.")

Andrew had this question:

Does being post-modern imply that you favor going against the common metanarrative, or just that you're willing to question it?

Good question. Remember, the definition of post-modernism is that we are incredulous to all metanarratives. When presented with one, a postmodernist should not attempt to tear it down or run from it; instead, they should question it. In questioning the metanarrative a postmodernist thinks they can learn the truth and get out from under the point of view that has been given to them. Thanks, Andrew.

My cat, Desmond, was helping Christine with her homework; later, he asked her out on a date.
His relationship status on Facebook currently says, "It's complicated."

My good friend, Krystal, has this question, which is similar to the last one:

Also...I mostly get what your point was when you said:
"A good postmodernist simply tries to act outside of the influence of the metanarrative rather than insisting upon their own."
But what is really the difference, when one looks at this closely? Or how can you tell?

Some people treat postmodernism as if it were a religion of its own. "I'm a postmodernist," they say, "so I don't believe in God." There's nothing postmodern about that. A true postmodernist might say, "I have been told that God is real; I will question this truth and consider it." This second person, the true postmodernist, will question the Nihilist as well as the Christian until they reach a conclusion - never believing one of these worldviews until they have reason to do so.

However, the most relevant question came from Bruce, who has the question that I am slowly getting to:

My question though concerns your statement that postmodernism is not a problem for my faith. Like you I'm a Christian. While I would disagree with your idea of what postmodernism is I think that on your definition it remains a problem for Christian faith....Why would postmodernism, defined as: "Incredulity to all metanarratives" given the above observations, not be a problem for my faith?

I do not think postmodernism is antithetical to Christianity - but that thought requires its own post which will arrive later in the week. Stay tuned!

(I'm sorry that this blog post came late. It takes longer than normal to post when writing about stuff like this!)

Explaining Post-Modernism with Cats

Now that we have discussed What Post-Modernism Is Not - it's time to get our hands dirty and figure out what it is.

The definition of Post-modernism is as follows: Incredulity to all metanarratives.

This is already getting boring - I'm bringing in pictures of my cats so I don't lose you.
Desmond (left) and Molly (right) are going to help us.

But, what is a metanarrative and how can we be incredulous to them? Fortunately, metanarratives are not complicated, it's just an obscure word and the concept can be explained by discussing two other simple things - narratives and social constructs. Here we go!

Narrative - The story of an individual thing, group, concept, etc. Your life has a narrative; so does your cat and your oven and that idea you had to start a business. Here are some examples.

Joe Average grew up in Indiana where he got married and worked in construction while his wife baked pies and their kids sold lemonade; he eventually retired and moved to Florida.

Flabby, the goldfish, was taken from the pet store and placed in a glass bowl in a suburban home. He was flushed 6 months later.

The first line of iPhones was very popular but was discontinued when the next model was manufactured. Some people still have them.

So, a narrative is just a story. Easy .

Narrative - "Desmond spends a lot of time on our bed instead of the cat bed we bought for him."

Social Constructs - Concepts that we develop when we see what these narratives have in common.

Guys are tough - women are pretty.

Goldfish die easily.

iPhones are popular.

Nothing complicated. By looking around us we see themes in our social patterns that we are all familiar with. We may not appreciate these themes but they are part of our society. We all know tough guys who like to wear pink and construction workers who listen to Mozart - but these social constructs are the "norm" based on the majority of the things we see.

Social Construct - "There is always a cat on our bed." Sheesh.

Metanarrative - The "over-arching story." Combine these social constructs into a single account and you have a single narrative that tells the whole story.

Here's the Wikipedia definition of a metanrrative:

...therefore, a metanarrative is a story about a story,
encompassing and explaining other 'little stories' within totalizing schemes.

Now, working from the narratives and social constructs I just discussed, here is an example of how we might see the metanarrative:

In our world, men marry women and they raise a few kids. At some point, they will buy a gold fish that will die quickly. If any one is cool they will have an iPhone.

Of course, your view of this metanarrative will be different from that of a person in India or someone who is from the future. We develop our view of the metanarrative naturally without stopping to think about it. Uneducated people and scholars all hold to their own views of the over-arching story of mankind.

When Desmond realized that he was only hanging out on our bed because it was the way he had always done things, he opened his mind to new possibilities and started sleeping in the laundry basket. (It also made him more efficient in his task of 'getting cat hair on clean clothes.')

The average person walks through life being inexplicably guided by their view of the metanarrative. We expect our neighbors to have two cars and our children to sell lemonade in the summer. We expect everyone to share our views about eternity.

As kittens, Molly would stand up and pose for a camera. However, as soon as he knew that he was simply following standard procedure, Desmond refused to comply to society's expectations and only scowled at the camera.

The post-modernist, however, is of a different sort. They recognize that they are walking on a path that society has made for them and consider how they can go their own way. When they realize that they are doing what is expected of them, they stop and re-consider the decision. " Is this the right thing to do?" they might ask, "or is it just what I am expected to do?"

By questioning the metanarrative, women suffragists realized that they should be allowed to vote - even though most of society had unquestionably accepted the notion that they should not. In the same way, philosophers, like Plato, decided that beyond the physical world was a world we could not see that, unlike our world, is eternal. By giving important melody parts to the bass guitar, instead of the electric lead guitar, Paul McCartney stepped out of the framework of rock music and recorded the first bass guitar solo on "Paperback Writer." (As you can see, post-modernism is not necessarily new.)

Since everyone knows that "cats don't wear flannel," Molly has decided to embrace post-modernism and put on one of my plaid shirts. Desmond has other plans and insists that wearing this shirt will not make her happy. Their existential struggle continues to this day.

Next time, we will discuss how this interesting view is misused in our time and what its proper context might be. As always, discuss!

"Got it?"

(W0w, I just found out that Mental Floss, one of my favorite stops on the internet, has linked to this! Thanks, Miss C!)