Should Couples Live Together Before Getting Married? Good Question.

It's a hot button issue, these days.  Everyone who's anyone knows that living together is hip, and it shows just how postmodern and progressive you are.  Meanwhile, those who advocate waiting until marriage are seen as relics from the middle ages hanging on to outdated imperialist dogma.  But there's an important discussion to be had here, and since marriages are falling apart all over the place it's wise for us to learn how married couples can make it.

Those who prefer co-habitation will tell you that living together can help you get used to a person and decide if there is any reason you should not move forward in your relationship.  It's like testing the waters.  This seems logical. 

I could respond to that with this study I found over at ScienceBlog.com.  It found that couples that lived together before marriage had poorer communication skills than those who did not.  I'm not sure why, but it's always fun to quote studies.

Then there's this one, which found that there are higher divorce rates for couples who co-habitate before the wedding.  This is getting pretty serious; couples who live together first run a higher risk picking up bad communication skills and getting divorced.  Sounds dreary.

But, I really don't think we've gotten to the heart of the issue, yet.  Are you in love with someone so much so that you want to get married and form a lifelong relationship with them?  Do they feel the same about you?  Then living together is not necessary.  If you and your significant other are prepared to enter into such a serious commitment, then nothing you learn in cohabitation is going to change your mind.  Do you think that such strong feelings could be swept away once you learn that the other person scrapes their toast, or watches dumb TV shows?  Does true love yield to snoring and leaving the dishes for too long?  Will you turn your back on your loved one when you realize that they like to watch movies with the subtitles on?

 If they had lived together before getting married he would have known that she collected mud in large jars.  This guy totally blew it.

So if you want to get married, there's no need to debate co-habitation.  There are few (if any) new things you will learn about someone when moving in, and if you're in it for the long haul none of it will matter.  By the time you're ready to make your relationship permanent you will already know the other person well enough to know if you can live with them.