Tips for Making the Holidays More Bearable

I hate whining. I especially hate whining about the Holidays, so I want to outline some ways we can stop making the Holidays a time of griping and fussing. (And, by the way, I recognize the irony of using whining only to decry it, so don't bother pointing that out.) So, here goes my angry holiday rant.

Church goers - Quit whining every time someone says "Happy Holidays." It's a lot easier than saying "HappyThanksgivingMerryChristmasHappyHannukahHappyNewYearEtc" to everyone you meet. The individual is going out of their way to be nice, so accept their token of friendship and recognize it as a kind gesture.

Everyone else - Quit whining when someone says "Merry Christmas." These people are not trying to convert you or spread hatred against the Jews. They are celebrating an amazing holiday in their religion and are trying to spread some happiness to you. It's not an insult and it is not intolerant. Say "Thank you."

One year after being taught the true meaning of Christmas, Scrooge was visited by the Ghost who Punishes People Who Put Up Christmas Decorations Before Thanksgiving. As a punishment, he had to watch every "Home Improvements" holiday episode.

In regard to Kwanzaa (this one's for all of us) - Kwanzaa is not worth getting upset about. Do you know anything about it? Are you getting worked up over a holiday that you can't even define? Does your anal retentiveness outweigh your knowledge?

Some quick Kwanzaa facts:

• It does not negate, or replace, Christmas, or Hanukah, or any religion. It's a recognition of first fruits," as in, "Hooray, the harvest has started to grow and we won't starve this year!" It actually resembles Thanksgiving more than Christmas and does not threaten anyone's faith. (Nor, should it be used in such a way.) It is a separate, unrelated holiday.
  
• Yes, the current practice of Kwanzaa was resurrected in the 60's and was started by a Marxist who was involved with the Black Panthers who was also imprisoned for torturing women. This is frightening, but that does not mean that your black neighbor who has a Kwanzaa memorial approves of torturing women; that's not fair to your neighbor and it's only a way to create enmity in your neighborhood. That's not the Holiday spirit, at all.
  
• If Kwanzaa, in any way, makes you upset, you need to broaden your horizons. There are important problems in the world that we should address and your ignorance about a holiday is not one of them. Take a deep breath. Move along.

Here's a few quick ones:

• Wah, wah, wah. Someone sold a Christmas tree in September and called your mommy saying, "It's too EARLY for Christmas stuff! What am I going to do? What does it all mean?" Get a life. Ever tried to outfit a big house with Christmas stuff? You can't buy it all after Thanksgiving. If you gripe about Christmas stuff being in the stores "too early" you need to breathe into a paper bag, head over to visit your cranky uncle, and help him complain about kids walking on his lawn. Crybaby.
• I don't care if Bubba's Holiday catalog called it a "Holiday Tree" instead of a "Christmas Tree," that doesn't mean Bubba's Retail Store is fighting a secret war against Jesus. Once again, choose more important battles.
• Xmas. It means Christmas. It means Christmas because X is a Greek letter used to represent Christ. I've studied religious history and traveled to old monasteries and churches, and, trust me, the X has been used for Centuries to represent the name of Jesus. No one has attempted to cross out the Christ - don't get onto your co-workers because they went to grad school and you didn't.

On the left side, you will see an "X" representing Jesus Christ. Obviously, Byzantine Emperor Justinan II was trying to cross out Christ.

Let's all try to get along. I don't want everyone to think that Christians sit around whining all year; maybe, in the Christmas spirit, we could just celebrate our Lord.