Celebrate Presidents Day - Debunking Myths about George Washington

Today is a special federal holiday - Washington's Birthday!  Or, as most of us know it (thanks to endless silhouette crafts in elementary school), Presidents Day!

Myths about George Washington abound in our culture.  Some of these are merely anecdotal, but some actually represent a serious problem for our society's understanding of Washington and his legacy.  Here are six of these myths, and some quick correctives to them.

Myth #1: It's Presidents Day!
Although many Americans celebrate Presidents Day on the third Monday in February, no such federal holiday actually exists.  Instead, the day is officially called Washington's Birthday.  The day has slowly morphed over the decades into its present moniker in order to account for the many traditions in various states and regions which celebrate other presidents, including Abraham Lincoln, Thomas Jefferson, John Adams, and John F. Kennedy.  Rather than supplant the great George Washington, most places simply chose to rename the holiday generally to account for all of their favorite presidents

Myth #2: George Washington had Wooden Teeth
George Washington never had wooden teeth.  He did have a lot of false teeth.  But like all false teeth of his day, they were made of other, more durable materials, including ivory, animal bones, and even human teeth.  These were never terribly comfortable, but they were better than wood.

Myth #3: George Washington Smoked Marijuana
George Washington did not grow or smoke marijuana.  He did grow hemp on his plantation, but this hemp produced no narcotic effects.  Besides, it is clear from his books that he grew hemp to sell for very focused industrial purposes, including the production of paper, fuel, and rope.  Sorry to all of you Colorado pot-smokers: Washington is not your pal.  (Washington did, however, own a very productive distillery, which produced a highly-sought-after whiskey.  You can read about that, and about the recent reproduction of that whiskey from his handwritten recipe here.)

Myth #4: George Washington Chopped Down a Cherry Tree, and could not Tell a Lie
The old myth goes something like this: as a boy, George Washington chopped down a cherry tree.  When confronted with his sin by his father Augustine, Washington promptly confessed, saying something like "I cannot tell a lie."  Well, the truth is that this story never happened.  Instead, it was concocted by a man named Mason Locke Weems, otherwise known as Parson Weems.  In 1800, Weems published a book entitled The Life and Memorable Actions of George Washington.  This book was sold as a biography of Washington, but in truth, it was a book of fables, meant to use the great Father of the United States as an example of moral behavior (and to make alot of money).  He later wrote other moralistic books such as The Drunkard's Glass and God's Revenge Against Dueling.

Myth #5: George Washington said "So Help me God" in his Presidential Oath
Every president must affirm a specific oath, as required by Article Two, Section One, Clause Eight of the Constitution.  It ends with, "I will faithfully execute the Office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States."  It ends there.  Do you feel like something is missing?  If you do, that is because since the early-19th century, presidents have been adding the phrase "So Help me God" to the end of the oath.  The addition of this phrase has always been attributed to - you guessed it - George Washington.  The problem is that there is no evidence that Washington ever said this.  The only sources for this spurious flourish at the end of the oath come from people who wrote later in the 1800s, who had specific religious agendas, and who were not present for Washington's original inauguration.  Hardly trustworthy sources.

Myth #6: George Washington Had a Vision and Prayed at Valley Forge

You have probably seen an image like this one before: Washington on his knees, in the snow, slightly illuminated by light from above, praying.  There are several versions of the same story: General Washington, in the middle of the American Revolution, in deep trouble at Valley Forge in the Winter of 1777-1778, had a religious vision, and retreated to the woods to fall on his knees in prayer.  Guess where this story first showed up - our old friend, Parson Weems.  Weems published an article in The Federalist in 1804 claiming that this happened, but provided no sources, no witnesses, and no explanation.  Now, Washington was certainly a religious man, who belonged to an Episcopal Church most of his life.  He regularly called on "Providence" to aid him, or thanked "Providence" for aid.  He may have even prayed while at Valley Forge.  Americans, including Christians, can thus look to him as an example of dedication, prayerfulness, and possibly even piety.  But if we do so, we should do so based on facts, not on caricatures.  And these paintings of Washington at Valley Forge are just that - caricatures.

Next time someone tries to spread one of these myths, you'll be ready.  Such myths may be fun, interesting, or even helpful to a religious cause, but they're myths nonetheless, and should not be perpetuated by anyone who wants to know or spread the truth.

For great reading on Washington, myths about him, and his times, I recommend:

Edward Lengel, Inventing George Washington: America's Founder, in Myth and Memory
David Hackett Fischer, Washington's Crossing
Ron Chernow, Washington: A Life
John Fea, Was America Founded as a Christian Nation? A Historical Introduction

(reposted, from Presidents Day 2013)

Tips for Making the Holidays More Bearable

I hate whining. I especially hate whining about the Holidays, so I want to outline some ways we can stop making the Holidays a time of griping and fussing. (And, by the way, I recognize the irony of using whining only to decry it, so don't bother pointing that out.) So, here goes my angry holiday rant.

Church goers - Quit whining every time someone says "Happy Holidays." It's a lot easier than saying "HappyThanksgivingMerryChristmasHappyHannukahHappyNewYearEtc" to everyone you meet. The individual is going out of their way to be nice, so accept their token of friendship and recognize it as a kind gesture.

Everyone else - Quit whining when someone says "Merry Christmas." These people are not trying to convert you or spread hatred against the Jews. They are celebrating an amazing holiday in their religion and are trying to spread some happiness to you. It's not an insult and it is not intolerant. Say "Thank you."

One year after being taught the true meaning of Christmas, Scrooge was visited by the Ghost who Punishes People Who Put Up Christmas Decorations Before Thanksgiving. As a punishment, he had to watch every "Home Improvements" holiday episode.

In regard to Kwanzaa (this one's for all of us) - Kwanzaa is not worth getting upset about. Do you know anything about it? Are you getting worked up over a holiday that you can't even define? Does your anal retentiveness outweigh your knowledge?

Some quick Kwanzaa facts:

• It does not negate, or replace, Christmas, or Hanukah, or any religion. It's a recognition of first fruits," as in, "Hooray, the harvest has started to grow and we won't starve this year!" It actually resembles Thanksgiving more than Christmas and does not threaten anyone's faith. (Nor, should it be used in such a way.) It is a separate, unrelated holiday.
  
• Yes, the current practice of Kwanzaa was resurrected in the 60's and was started by a Marxist who was involved with the Black Panthers who was also imprisoned for torturing women. This is frightening, but that does not mean that your black neighbor who has a Kwanzaa memorial approves of torturing women; that's not fair to your neighbor and it's only a way to create enmity in your neighborhood. That's not the Holiday spirit, at all.
  
• If Kwanzaa, in any way, makes you upset, you need to broaden your horizons. There are important problems in the world that we should address and your ignorance about a holiday is not one of them. Take a deep breath. Move along.

Here's a few quick ones:

• Wah, wah, wah. Someone sold a Christmas tree in September and called your mommy saying, "It's too EARLY for Christmas stuff! What am I going to do? What does it all mean?" Get a life. Ever tried to outfit a big house with Christmas stuff? You can't buy it all after Thanksgiving. If you gripe about Christmas stuff being in the stores "too early" you need to breathe into a paper bag, head over to visit your cranky uncle, and help him complain about kids walking on his lawn. Crybaby.
• I don't care if Bubba's Holiday catalog called it a "Holiday Tree" instead of a "Christmas Tree," that doesn't mean Bubba's Retail Store is fighting a secret war against Jesus. Once again, choose more important battles.
• Xmas. It means Christmas. It means Christmas because X is a Greek letter used to represent Christ. I've studied religious history and traveled to old monasteries and churches, and, trust me, the X has been used for Centuries to represent the name of Jesus. No one has attempted to cross out the Christ - don't get onto your co-workers because they went to grad school and you didn't.

On the left side, you will see an "X" representing Jesus Christ. Obviously, Byzantine Emperor Justinan II was trying to cross out Christ.

Let's all try to get along. I don't want everyone to think that Christians sit around whining all year; maybe, in the Christmas spirit, we could just celebrate our Lord.